My “unplanned journey” has taken twists and turns and the road hasn’t always been smooth, but all along the way God has given me a song in my heart.

When Janice passed away, music became a haven for me.  I listened to good Gospel songs each night as I tried to find sleep.   One of the songs that spoke to my hurting heart is entitled, “Knowing You’ll Be There”.  I found great comfort in the song, “That is Just What Heaven Means to Me” performed by Pastors Wyatt and Wanda Cook.  I listened to these songs countless times night after night.

I woke one morning with the last line of the song, “Knowing You’ll Be There” playing in my mind— “knowing you’ll be there makes it easy to go home.”  But as those words ran through my mind one word was changed, “knowing you’ll be there makes it easy to go ON.”  I thought, that’s not right, but maybe since the words sound so much alike when sung, I had not heard the last line correctly.  I immediately took my phone and played the song listening to the last line, especially the last word.  Yes, the last word is “home” not ON.

The Lord spoke into my spirit that while it is true Janice has finished her earthly journey, I have not.  “Wesley, you are not to focus on going home—you are to focus on going ON.”  It is impossible to explain what happened to me in that moment, but from then on the crushing burden of grief has lifted and while in no way forgetting the past, I am focused on the future—I am going ON to finish my journey.

Do I still miss Janice being with me?  More than words could ever tell.  Do I still love Janice?  Absolutely!  Will I always cherish the memories of fifty-two plus years of marriage?  Yes of course. Do I continue to have moments of sadness? Certainly.

In these last four months, I’ve learned it’s much easier to preach than to practice.  I have experienced the grace of God in a new way.  Now from the battle field of experience, I know His Grace is sufficient.  I have come to a fuller understanding of the vital ministry of the Body of Christ.  My Bishop, Abel Palomo, has been a constant source of encouragement. The Maranatha Church Family could not have been more thoughtful and helpful, and—I bless them in Jesus’ Name.  My “sons” have been there for me at every turn.  Many who have read the previous posts have been so kind to write word of encouragement.  Thanks to all.

I believe this will be my last post about the passing of my wife.  I can almost hear Janice say, “Enough already Wesley, it’s time to move on.”  As usual, Janice is right. The Holy Spirit has spoken into my spirit—of that there is no doubt in my mind. Knowing Janice will be there (safe and secure in the presence of our Lord—free from sickness and pain and even death) makes it easy for me to go ON.

For now, it’s time for me to say goodbye my love until that final Easter morning dawns where there will never be a tear to dim the eye and never a need to say goodbye.

Yes indeed, one word can make a world of difference.